There are times in your life when everybody seems like getting married at the same time. For me it is the year 2011-2013, since I am part of the class 2010 for my associate degree, and year 2016, one year after I graduated from my bachelor’s degree. The tendency to get married after graduating college is so high.
And I will be one of them.
My partner and I started our relationship with the intention for marriage–he never asked me to be his girlfriend. The idea of getting married has always been around, and after few discussions with families we finally have our D-day. Hurray!
We do the preparation by ourselves since our families are not in town, and mostly because I looooove to do wedding preparation. On the day we figured out the date of our wedding, I already knew what color that would be the wedding theme (peach and white with a shade of gold and nude), what tradition we would use (Solo for sure), what kind of invitation, what kind of souvenir, what kind of wedding we would have.
But along the journey, preparing for a wedding is a real handful. Everything needs to be adjusted.
One thing that I couldn’t decide easily was the most important point in a wedding preparation: the venue. The wedding will be held in my place, for sure, because in Indonesia we have a “ngunduh mantu” tradition, an opportunity for in-laws to hold a celebration for their son’s wedding in their place if they want to. The problem is, where is exactly “my place”? My family lives in two cities. My parent lives in Sumatra and every Eid they will go to the capital for “mudik” for my grandmother and families live there. Me? I live in the capital, and so do my close friends that most likely will be invited to the wedding.
That’s the reason why at first we decided to hold the wedding in the capital. Big city, easy to access, lots of vendors, many friends live here, many members of big family live here, and so on and so on. My parents accepted this idea so I began to search for wedding venue. I found a wedding hall in one of the buildings near my grandmother’s house, Gedung Film. The hall is beautiful with a carpet covered floor and it already has all-in wedding package, it even has its own organizer team. A package like this is perfect for a couple who prepare their wedding on their own.
We signed for the hall. But then discussions went on, numbers in my spreadsheets changed (yes I put everything on spreadsheets and folders), minds changed, ideas spoken, et cetera et cetera, then BAM!–we changed the location and the date of the wedding. I needed to replan, I needed to get back my down payment (by selling it in forums since it is impossible to get it back from the organizer), I needed to do another survey for vendors in that city, I needed to readjust almost everything. Stressful.
The wedding then would be held in the place where my parent lives. The good thing is, if it is held in that city, my parent will have many friends to help. The bad thing is, it is hard to find recommendation online for the vendors in that city while we are in a condition where I live in another city. I then scrolled too many Instagram accounts, texted some of them, read all of their offers, and chose the ones I liked. What makes me thankful in this stressful moment is how my partner trusts me (and my taste) in everything about the wedding. I just need to ask for his agreement in everything that I choose, and most of the time I don’t need to adjust anything.
So now I already have the date, the venue, the timeline, some vendors in confirmation, and list of tons of things to do.
Seriously, preparing for wedding needs a lot of Bismillah.
Stressed out but super excited,
*ngunduh mantu is a tradition to hold a ceremony/celebration in the groom’s place, inviting the bride and the bride’s parents, to show the groom’s parents’ gratitude to have a daughter in-law as how they wish
*mudik is a tradition to go back to one’s hometown and gather with big families for celebrating Eid al-Fitr
*Bismillah is the name of an Islamic phrase meaning “In the name of God, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful”